05 February 2010
	Did You Hear?

Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible." A group of 40-year-old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they will eat at the Gasthof zum Lowen restaurant because the waitresses there have low-cut blouses and nice breasts. Ten years later, at 50 years of age, the group meet again and once again discuss where they should eat. Finally it is agreed upon that they will meet at the Gasthof zum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is excellent. Ten years later at 60 years of age, the group meet again and once again discuss where they should eat. Finally it is agreed upon that they will dine at the Gasthof zum Lowen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke-free. Ten years later, at 70 years of age, the group meet again and discuss where they should eat. Finally it is agreed upon that they should dine at the Gasthof zum Lowen because the restaurant is wheelchair accessible and they even have an elevator. Ten years later, at 80 years of age, the group meet again and discuss where they should eat. Finally it is agreed upon that they will eat at the Gasthof zum Lowen because they have never been there before. Fabritzi, Jacques and Abe are about to be executed and they are asked what they wish to have for their last meal. Fabritzi asks for a pepperoni pizza, with all the trimmings, which he is served. As soon as he finishes eating it he is executed. Jacques asks for a filet mignon, which he is served. He, too, is promptly executed. Abe requests a plate of strawberries. "Strawberries?" asks the executioner. "Yes," replies Abe, "strawberries." "But they are out of season," says the executioner. "So? I'll wait..." Abe replies. An old man and woman have been married for many years and they have grown to hate each other. Whenever they have a confrontation, screaming and yelling can be heard deep into the night. The old man always shouts: "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life!" The neighbours fear him. They believe he practises black magic because of the many strange occurrences that have taken place in their neighbourhood. However, the old man enjoys the fact that he is feared. One day, to everyone's relief, he dies of a heart attack. His wife has a closed casket at the funeral. After the burial, she goes straight to the local bar and begins to party, as if there is no tomorrow. Her neighbours, concerned for her safety, ask: "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?" The wife puts down her drink and says: "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down." Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "Sure, buddy." Officer: "That's no way to address an officer. Now let's try it again. Do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "No, SIR!" YOU COULD WIN YOU COULD WIN by sending news snippets, wit and gossip to Did You Hear? Published entries win R200. Please include your name, address and telephone number or you will not be eligible. Send entries to: fmdidu@fm.co.za * BDFM employees are not eligible for prizes. * The judges' decision is final.